This Deserve A Title?
by VampireQueenMinami-SquidKi
Summary: MAJOR VAMPIRE KNIGHT CRACK. Has strong language and little sexual hints. Not really for Kaname lovers either.  Kaname vists Zero one morning.. oh the horror to the hunter.


**Author's comment:** So I decided to give myself a little challenge.. look up 'anime couples', first couple I recognized I would write a fanfiction on... oh what a horrible horrible HORRIBLE choice.. so let's make this crack and get it over with. |:

", theycan'tstealmyKaname-ohwaitdidIsayMINE? That'ssillyIwouldn'teverthinkofthat-"

Enough. Enough. _ENOUGH._

Zero spun, back handing Yuki to the floor before more could say. She could have sworn she saw a vein popping out of his temple. "Oww.." She sat up, rubbing the red mark on her once ivory flesh. "Zero why you gotta be like daaaaat? D:"

_Women like this need to stay in the kitchen. _An unknown voice told Zero's noodle.

The teen didn't know what was worse- she did a rather well African American voice or the random smilie he could picture beside _that_ remark. The sight of the rising sun over the school was a blessing for him. "I'm going back to my dorm.. try not to stay out _too _late," He huffed, walking past the still dazed female. A serious of rude and "Jerk-ass" rung throughout the early morning, but, as always, Zero did _not_ give a damn. Honestly. That damn little spazz. She was a sweet as her blood tasted. When he first bit into her, he thought her blood was rather.. suagry. _I see the effects now,_ A moody grunt rumbled in his throat.

His hand was on the doorknob leading to the male dorm, mind and everything going blank. He quickly drew his _Bloody Rose, _pointing it to the blood sucking scum behind him. "Early to come out and play, _beast_?"

Auburn- and disturbing eyes- met his. It bothered Zero he wasn't aware of his stalker. The gun was gentle pushed down, a small crackle of energy bursting up the silver haired male's arm. "Now, now Zero," Kaname purred. "no need for violence."

Lavender eyes narrowed, his high guard thick in his low voice. What the fuck? Did he _purr_? He shuddered a little. Goddamnit. This bastard _purred._ "What do you want Kaname? Burn in the sun?"

"No I'd rather sparkle." Zero's vision was cut short from an unannounced blink. "And I want.. you."

"...What?"

Zero felt his gag reflex rise as Kaname dropped to his knee, very _gayishly,_ taking his hand. _HOLY FUCK I FEEL HIS FANGS... EW HIS TONGUE? _A silent scream erupted throughout his body. His bangs fell over his eyes, mouth gaped in horror at the sight. A dream. _Good God's goose going gazillion let this be a sick, twisted dream! _Zero felt his stomach do a backflip as Kaname _took a finger into his mouth. Holy fuck. _

The hunter was paralyzed with fear. Or maybe gas, Kaname assumed. Taking a quick sniff, Kaname guessed not. Fear? No. That was _aw-struck love _in Zero's eyes. His eyes reminded the Pureblood of his favorite underwear.. hard but gentle.

"_KYAAAAA~" _The storm of hentai like sounds make the two men jump, looking around to see a circle of students forming about. Did Zero spot a few _guys_? Whatever their gender they all held the same fucked up look of a troll who jizzed in their pants. Faces were lit like Christmas, Shoujo sparkles making it like that stupid game with the guy who jumped on mushrooms.

How Zero wished he had smoked a few bad mushrooms.

"TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IF OFF!" _Take it off? _The fuck was he going to take off? To his horror, he felt Kaname rip off his belt and pants. The next minute he felt his back contact the ground, Kaname hovering over him like a hungry bear. "I'll be gentle..~" Two shadows loomed. Zero's own twin, Ichiru holding a camera to snap a few photos. The second, Yuki staring with the look of a goddamn yaoi fangirl.

"Beauitful~ NOW STRIP HIM!" They chanted like a disordered cult.

A shrill scream rang out from Zero.

**Author's comment:** ...I HATE MYSELF.

I'm not doing that idea ever again. If you do, be careful. I _dislike_ Kaname very much though. Just gonna leave it at that. lmfao.

Just to clear it up- I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST YAOI FANGIRLS OR HOMOSEXUALS. I support.


End file.
